5 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s
Advice to my younger self
I turned 34 this month.
Now that I’m officially in my mid-30s, it’s got me thinking about my “younger” years.
Specifically, my 20s.
(ah to be poor[er], young, and free again)
Your 20s are a decade of discovery and decision.
A time to figure things out, make mistakes, and hopefully learning from them.
Looking back, I could have saved myself a lot of time, stress, and even money if I had known a few key things earlier. If I could sit down with my younger self, this is what I’d tell him.
Here’s what I wish I had known in my 20s:
No one cares as much as you think they do
Take care of your money early
Your first job won’t define your whole career
Taking risks young is the best time to do it
Stop comparing yourself to others
Let’s break these down one by one.
1. No One Cares as Much as You Think
When you’re in your 20s, it feels like every decision you make is under a microscope. You worry about how you look, what people think of your career choices, and how you’re perceived on social media.
Here’s the truth…
Most people are too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about you.
It’s freeing really.
I spent way too much time trying to present myself a certain way, trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be.
It took me years to realize that none of it really mattered. The sooner you let go of the need to impress others, the sooner you can start making decisions for yourself. Be who you are, do what you actually want to do, and stop carrying the weight of imaginary judgment.
And besides, even if people DO care about your decisions, YOU shouldn’t care what they think. Don’t let someone else’s expectations direct the trajectory of your life. Do what you want to do. Period.
2. Take Care of Your Money
When you start making money, it’s tempting to start spending it just as fast.
I started making some “real” money and thought, “Time to enjoy life.” Then I got into credit card debt, assuming I’d just pay it off later.
Well…
I started racking up credit card debt faster than I was paying it off.
I’d fallen into the trap.
Thankfully, I was able to pull myself out of it relatively quickly, but that experience encouraged me to finally get on a budget. That did wonders for me.
If you learn good money habits early, you set yourself up for a better future.
Things like saving, budgeting, and investing.
Download the EveryDollar app or something and start keeping a budget.
Start spending less than you make.
Start investing in your retirement early.
Even a small amount contributed monthly in your 20s compounds into a lot later on. Living below your means and being smart with your finances will give you more freedom in the long run, not less.
3. Your First Job Won’t Define Your Whole Career
Have you seen the Bee Movie?
Well you know how in the beginning they all have to figure out early what job they’re going to do for the rest of their life?
That’s literally real life.
There’s so much pressure to pick the “right” career path early on.
Like seriously, it’s crazy.
In your 20s (and your teens) you think that your major or your first job will lock you into that field for life.
In my experience, that’s just not true.
I graduated with an English degree, went into teaching, then sales, then operations, then data analytics, and eventually product management.
None of it was linear, but every step was a learning experience that led me to where I am now. Most people I know have pivoted at least once.
And sure, some people DO have it figured out early on. They know exactly what they want to do and they’re incredibly passionate about it. But that’s not most people.
Your first job is just that: your first. You have time to figure it out.
4. Taking Risks Young Is the Best Time
The best time to take big risks is in your 20s.
Why? Because failing is much easier to recover from when you have fewer responsibilities.
Now that I’m 34, I have a family, kids, pets, and a lot more obligations. I love my life, but I also recognize that making a major shift now carries more risk than it would have in my 20s. Back then, I had fewer strings attached, and looking back, there’s some stuff I wish I’d have tried doing.
Like living out of my truck, (I honestly think that would have been really cool).
While failure does carry more risk as you get older, failure is also not a bad thing.
Failure is a redirection to try something new.
So just try doing things you’re genuinely interested in.
Whether it’s moving to a new city, changing careers, starting a business, or traveling, your 20s are the best time to do it. If it doesn’t work out, you have time to rebuild. Regretting not trying the thing is worse than any failure that could come from it.
5. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Honestly, this one is still hard for me.
It’s natural to compare yourself to others, especially in a world dominated by social media. You see people traveling, making money, getting promotions, and seemingly living the dream.
But here’s what you don’t see: the struggles, the failures, the debt, the insecurities.
Social media is everyone’s highlight reel. You see all the good and none of the bad.
That’s not real life.
In my 20s, social media was making me miserable.
I’d see people I knew succeeding and felt like I was behind. Eventually, I quit social media for several years, and it was one of the best things I ever did for my mental health.
I quit Facebook and Instagram in 2017 and only returned during 2020 for a very brief period. I still haven’t used them since, and I feel much better off.
These days, I use platforms like LinkedIn, Substack, and YouTube with intention, but I don’t let them dictate how I feel about my own progress, (well, I try not to, but it can still be challenging if I’m having a bad day).
Your journey is unique.
Everyone is figuring things out at their own pace. The only person you should compare yourself to is the version of you from yesterday.
Final Thoughts
If you’re in your 20s, I hope this gives you some perspective. You don’t have to have it all figured out. No one does. But if you can latch on to these lessons early, you might save yourself a lot of stress down the road.
I’m still learning to embrace some of these in my 30s.
Make decisions for yourself, be smart with your money, don’t stress about career permanence, take risks while you can, and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. You’ll be better off for it.
See you next time ✌️
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the thought of "no one gives a sh*t about you" is freeing